On a PayPal button asking you to donate money to this one site, it said "Donate" when you hover you mouse cursor over the button, it showed "Make payments with PayPal - it's fast, free and secure!" OK, since when can you donate money without having to pay anything?
On a box of Fish Sticks, "Made with fish from the oceans of the World!" Are you sure?!? I thought it was from the oceans of Jupiter!
On a lawnmower was a big label which read:
"WARNING WHEN MOTOR IS RUNNING- THE BLADE IS TURNING!"
We once bought a grocery store pizza, and the instruction were on the bottom, so we turned it upside down to see how long to cook it etc., and low and behold the first instruction was DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN!
On a cleaner cleaner specifically designed to remove bathroom mold deposits. The directions on the product label stated, "Only use in well ventilated areas."
Seen on the bottom of a Coca-Cola bottle: "Do not open here."
On a bottle of spray paint: "Do not spray in your face."
On a bottle of bathtub cleaner: For best results, start with clean bathtub before use.
On a container of lighter fluid: WARNING: Contents flammable!
On a bottle of hand lotion: Warning: Starts healing skin on contact.
On a box of household nails: CAUTION! - Do NOT swallow nails! May cause irritation!
Microwave popcorn is packaged so that the directions cannot be read unless you open the plastic and unfold it. Direction #1 is Remove plastic.
On a television commercial that says it cleans dentures 4 times better. Below in small print it said "Lab test: (their product) vs. water.
On a television commercial it said they their denture paste was better than any other. BELOW IT, it said in small letters, vs. using no adhesive.
Seen on the back of a label: "Do not peel label off."
On a Band-Aid box: "For serious injuries, seek medical attention."
On a can of powdered infant formula: "Mix with water before serving." Like I'm going to spoon it to a baby dry!
This stupid label was found on a can of Woolite carpet cleaner: "Safe for carpets, too!"
This label was found on the BOTTOM of a box of glass ornaments: "Do not turn upside down."
On a box of Frosted Cheerio's, the logo, "Tastes so good this box never closes," is located just underneath another announcement: "To close: place tab here."
On a plastic orange juice can: "100% pure all-natural fresh-squeezed orange juice from concentrate."
An ad for some type of contest on a candy bar. The wrapper said "No purchase necessary - Details Inside."
On Clorox Fresh Care: (for cleaning out odors from fabric) "Safe to use in households with pets Warning: Fresh Care is NOT intended to be sprayed directly on pets."
On the back of the Pilots seat on NATO AWAC Aircraft (E-3A), is a sign that states: "Seat must be facing forward for take off and landing."
Seen on a container of salt:
Warning: High in sodium
On a hose nozzle there was a warning that said: "Do not spray into electrical outlet."
Seen on an industrial size washer in our local laundry establishment was the (large lettered) sign: "Warning: Do not put any person in this washer."
There is also a stroller on the market with the warning, "Remove child before folding."
There was a car ad depicting cars driving in the water with fins like sharks. At the end of the ad in small letters it read: "Caution, do not drive underwater"
On a pair of Christmas Tree lights, "For indoor and outdoor use only."
On a Sear's hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping." (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (The shoplifter special)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how ...?)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows day . . .)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (Man, We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts!)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (I would hope so!)
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." ( Step 3: Fly Delta.)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame parents for this one.)
On a blanket from Taiwan:
NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO OK....
On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists:
REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU Are you sure? I thought thinks in the mirror were in front of you! :)
On a Taiwanese shampoo:
USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE I think you mean, Use repeatedly if you have severe damage!
On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavored milk drink:
AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT Why didn't you tell me that before I spilled it all over the floor??
On a New Zealand insect spray:
THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS
In a US guide to setting up a new computer:
TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)
On a packet of Sunmaid raisins
WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?
On a Korean butcher knife
WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box
FITS ONE HEAD
Can of spray paint: "Do not spray in your face."
Shampoo Bottle for Dogs: "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish."
Package of Dice: "Not for human consumption."
Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle: "Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death."
Box of Bottle-Rockets: "Do not put in mouth."
T.V. Remote Control: "Not dishwasher safe."
"Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.
"Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.
"Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
"Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.
"Caution: This is not a safety protective device." -- On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn.
"Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter.
"Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer.
"Not intended for highway use." -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow.
"This product is not to be used in bathrooms." -- On a Holmes bathroom heater.
"May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray.
"Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock."
"Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee.
"Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.
"Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less." -- On a birthday card for a 1 year old.
"Warning: Do not use on eyes." -- In the manual for a heated seat cushion.
"Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.
"Do not look into laser with remaining eye." -- On a laser pointer.
"For use by trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener.
"Keep out of reach of children and teenagers." -- On a can of air freshener.
"Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm.
"Do not use as ear plugs." -- On a package of silly putty.
"Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator." -- On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia.
"Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone.
Not for weight control." -- On a pack of Breath Savers.
"Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth." -- On the label of a bottled drink.
"Theft of this container is a crime." -- On a milk crate.
"Do not use intimately." -- On a tube of deodorant.
"Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison.
"Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757.
"Cannot be made non-poisonous." -- On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid.
"Excessive dust may be irritating to shin and eyes." -- On a tube of agarose powder, used to make gels.
"Look before driving." -- On the dash board of a mail truck.
"Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for a Rowenta iron.
"This door is alarmed from 7:00pm - 7:00am." -- On a hospital's outside access door.
"Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station.
"Product will be hot after heating." -- On a supermarket dessert box.
"Do not turn upside down." -- On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box.
"Do not light in face. Do not expose to flame." -- On a lighter.
"Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball." -- On the label for a cheap rubber ball toy.
"May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers.
"Using Ingenio cookware to destroy your old pots may void your warranty." -- A printed message that appears in a television advertisement when the presenter demonstrates how strong the cookware is by using it to beat up and destroy a regular frying pan.
"Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw.
"Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." -- From a manual for an SGI computer.
"Do not eat." -- On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing.
"Access hole only -- not intended for use in lifting box." -- On the sides of a shipping carton, just above cut-out openings which one would assume were handholds.
"Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills.
"Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.
"Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer.
"Turn off motor before using this product." -- On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.
"Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame.
"Do not put in mouth." -- On a box of bottle rockets.
"Remove plastic before eating." -- On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.
"Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV.
"For lifting purposes only." -- On the box for a car jack.
"Do not put lit candles on phone." -- On the instructions for a cordless phone.
"Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch.
Unknown Earplugs:
These ear plugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe
Unknown Mattress:
Warning: Do not attempt to swallow
Unknown Matches:
Caution: Contents may catch fire.
Bag of potato chips:
"Due to the law of averages, some unbroken chips may accidentally be included in this package."